A simple life?

Sunday, February 12, 2006

I am so pissed right now. My aim was first, not smoke one whole day then not smoke for 2 whole days then 3. But i'm stuck at 2 days. Every 2 days my will just weakens and i smoke. And you know what? I'm pissed. Really freaking pissed. Yesterday 2 sticks. Just now 1 stick. Wah lao. No one's fault really but mine.

During the past week of trying to quit, i realised y in the 1st place i smoked and carried on. I couldn't remember that smoking makes you high until after stopping for 2 days. It really makes me high. The stuff that bothers me just goes to the back of my head and I don't think about it temporarily. 2 catches. 1) Problems only go to the back of my head. 2) I don't think about it temporarily. In the end, it will just come back and unless i pull myself up and think of a way to solve it, it will still be there. Lol. Why wana just keep smoking and pushing it away when solving it once and for all just solves it once and for all. Smoking also really shows my faith in God. I'm not trusting in Him enough thats y i smoke. If i really trust in Him, why so afraid to face problems? Smoking also shows that i have no balls. No balls to face and solve problems.

Enough of all this crap. I'm not so pissed that i have no nicotine in me, i'm more pissed because i realise i need to depend on nicotine.

O level results were out. Congrats to those who got the results they wanted. To those who didn't, i qoute sam, '9 A1s doesn't confirm your future, 9 F9s doesn't spell your doom.' Something like that, sorry bro if i got it wrong.

On a happier note, yesterday was a really good saturday. Only wasted was my lethargy. Played billard with my uncle, had dinner with iz and his family then had supper with jon and serena. No partying or whatsoever but just great company.